Survey
by MissingxMe
Summary: Lilly asks Miley to fill out a survey while they babysit Lilly's younger brother. As Miley reads the survey, she tests out her sexuality [Liley]
1. Curiosity

**A/N **Liley fic Miley's POV.

**Survey**

**Chapter 1**

**Curiosity**

"Do you think you can pass me the popcorn?" Lilly asked me as she stared off at the TV.

Lilly and I sat in the living room couch, watching TV with Lilly's younger brother on the ground, doing his homework. Lilly was stuck baby sitting Tyler tonight and so I decided to help her out since I had nothing better to do. Lilly and I were supposed to go out since it was my only day off without any concerts or CD signings, but Lilly's parents asked her to baby sit so here we are stuck with her bratty irritating brother, ruining our weekend.

I never realized how bad I felt when we had to cancel our plans. I never been so sad in my life, I guess I just wanted to spend more time with Lilly since we've been canceling our plans more often. It also brought me to why I decided to come here to help Lilly baby sit. I don't know I just want to talk to her but with her brother in the way it's not working out.

I reached for the table beside me, where the popcorn was and took the bowl without looking at it, handing it over to Lilly. She took the bowl from me and placed it on her lap.

"Man I wished we weren't stuck with your brother." I quietly said, hoping Tyler wouldn't hear me.

I glanced at Lilly and she smiled. She put her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"I know this sucks." She said and took a handful of popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth as she continued to watch the TV.

"Is that all you have to say?" I asked as she giggled at the show.

"Yes, you were the one who decided to stay with me so stop complaining and enjoy the movie Miley." Lilly said and snuggled closer to me.

I let out a loud sigh and reached for a handful of popcorn. I turned my head, looking down at Lilly's blond hair and smiled. Her hair always looked pretty. It's soft, silky and blond. I love blond hair on people, it just looks cute.

I subconsciously put an arm around her and took a strand of hair between my index and thumb, rolling it with my fingers. I stuffed popcorn in my mouth with my other hand and leaned against Lilly.

Lilly giggled and I couldn't help but notice how cute her laugh is. It's so strange and different, but it's still cute. I blinked a few times before I realized what I was saying, more like thinking. I shook my head and lifted my head from Lilly's.

"Lil-" I started, but Tyler jumped up from the ground and walked over to us with his homework in hand.

"I finished, you can even look, so now can I watch TV, please?" Tyler asked, shoving the folder in front of Lilly's face.

Lilly removed her head from my shoulder, taking the bowl of popcorn from her lap, and moved forward taking Tyler's work. She looked through it, like she was seeing if he really did his work, and set it aside.

"Whatever, but after this show!" She rolled her eyes and Tyler smiled.

"Yes!" He said and took the remote, which lay on my lap, from me and changed it to the Disney Channel.

"I said after the show!" Lilly shouted at Tyler as she lightly kicked his back.

"Ow! You said after a show, you didn't say which show." He told Lilly, keeping his face straight to the TV.

"You're so frustrating!" She shouted at him and sighed loudly.

"Ugh, do we have to watch the Disney Channel every single time you want to watch TV?" Lilly whined, only to move back to her spot next to me. This time she didn't put her head on my shoulder, but only sat straight with my arm lying on her back.

"Yes." He said more sternly this time and took the bowl of popcorn from us and sat down on the ground.

"Whatever, idiot." Lilly hissed and tapped her foot on the ground, staring at the TV.

I smirked. She's so mean to her brother, but he's mean to her right back. It's funny seeing the two fight and Lilly seriously has the cutest looks on her face when she's like this.

I shook my head. 'Ugh, keep it straight Miley, it's okay to check out a girl, but you have to stop saying how cute Lily can get. That's when you have to question yourself on things that don't need to be questioned.' I say to myself and tried to get into a more comfortable spot, but stiffened up as Lilly leaned against me once again.

I smiled at her as her face scrunched into a disapproving look. She glanced up at me, rolling her eyes as she nudged me.

"What?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Nothing." She said, but then poked at my side.

"Hey!" I pouted and nudged her right back.

"You're so silly." She giggled and took my hand from me. She started to examine it and watched her.

How can someone be so pretty when they're such a tomboy? I asked myself.

Lilly tucked behind a lock hair behind her ear as she brought my hand closer to her face. She was looking at my finger tips as her hands traced them then moving her soft hands to the palm of my hand. It made my hand slightly tingle as she continued these ministrations.

Her face looks so soft and smooth, her lips plump and the perfect shape, her eyes too perfect and bright. How can no one see how pretty she is just because she dresses a little too tomboyish? Seriously.

I didn't realize that Lilly was calling for me until she snapped her fingers in front of my face. She had dropped my hand on my lap and she stared at me with questionable eyes. I just hoped she doesn't realize I was checking her out in the normal girl way, or so I hoped it was.

"Sorry, what?" I asked making Lilly roll her eyes.

She moved forward, taking her bag from side of her. "I said, do you think you can help me out with a survey?"

"Sure, what kind of survey?" I asked while watching Lilly intently.

She placed it on her lap and unzipped it, digging inside for a folder. Once she retrieved the folder, she took out her survey and handed it to me.

"Just a regular survey. It's for my health class, a self learning kind of project." Lilly said, but only to be interrupted with her brother telling the both of us to be quiet.

"I'm trying to watch TV!" Tyler shouted.

"Shut up brat." Lilly snapped and looked back at me. Her mouth opened once again once she got ready to talk again, but I clamped my hand over her mouth.

"Let's just go to your room or something." I suggested and she nodded.

I dropped my hand and got up from the couch and she did as well.

"Ty, if you go outside, hide, or do anything bad while I'm in my room, I'm going to rat you out in what you did yesterday." Lilly said in a taunting voice.

"You wouldn't." Tyler hissed as he turned to the both of us.

"I would, now behave; I'll be back down in 15 minutes or so." Lilly said and then took my hand, leading me up the stairs to her room. Once we got there, she closed and locked the door.

"What is this bad thing Tyler did?" I asked and Lilly shrugged.

"I have no clue." Lilly chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the end of Lilly's bed. I looked at the survey and read the first question aloud.

"How do you feel about homosexuality?" It said and I gasped. "What kind of survey is this?" I asked her and Lilly laughed, walking toward me.

"It's for my Health class. We're supposed to ask 10 people these questions and it's weird." Lilly shook her head. "I doubt anyone would really tell the truth in these things."

With that Lilly sat down on my lap to read the questions with me.

My heart beat hard against my chest, as Lilly leaned against me. I could smell her, her scent so sweet and delicious, almost makes me want to…

I shook my head and put my chin on Lilly's shoulder.

Ugh, I need to concentrate.

She took the survey from my hands and read the second question out loud.

"What is your orientation?" She questioned.

"Lilly, how am I supposed to answer this when you're here?" I asked, being a bit sarcastic. "For all I know, I could be something you might think I'm not." I joked and Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Come on Miley, it's just a few questions and I thought you trusted me." Lilly said with her voice sounding slightly hurt.

Aw! I frowned and wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close to me.

"I'm sorry I do trust you!" I said in a serious tone and kissed her cheek from behind.

"Yay!" She said and turned her body, wrapping her arms around my neck.

We stayed this way for a second and I blushed once I realized Lilly's chest was crushing mine, it kind of hurt, but whatever. This _is _kind of awkward.

"Anyway." Lilly said as soon as she let go of me. "Are you going to answer them?"

She sat sideways now, with her shoulder against mine and her legs between mine. She crossed her legs and I settled a hand on her knee as I lay my head on her shoulder.

"Yeah." I sighed and closed my eyes for a second.

We sat there in quiet and I bit my lip. I had the sudden urge to find out my own orientation right here and right now. It's kind of embarrassing, but I needed to know these things. It would be weird if I said I was straight but I wasn't. Heck earlier I was practically questioning myself with my own sexuality.

I opened my eyes and gazed at Lilly, seeing that she was just staring at the door. I took a sharp intake of breath and moved my face closer to her neck until my lips lightly brushed her skin. There, I felt Lilly stiffen in my arms.

I started to think about pulling away, but why should I? She's not doing anything so why not take a chance in actually trying to be with a girl? But then… she'll hate me and we're friends… man what do I do?

I paused with my lips just a breath away from her neck.

Screw it, I'm doing this.

I pressed my lips against her neck once again, letting butterfly kisses along her neck until her earlobe. I nipped at her earlobe, allowing my tongue to trace her outer ear and to her the lobe section. I kissed her cheek and once again moved over to kiss her neck.

I tightened my grip around her waist as I licked the crook of her neck, sucking on the skin, and moving to lick her throat. She whimpered, but I didn't care, I just wanted her to feel good.

I found my hand on her knee slowly stroking upward to her thigh, feeling her shudder against me. She didn't say stop or do anything so I continued to kiss and suck on her skin.

"Miley…" She softly said and I looked up to only see her eyes closed with her face red.

I lifted my hand that was on her thigh to her cheek and I brought my lips from her neck to her lips, pulling her into a soft kiss. Her lips felt better than I thought they would be. So smooth, sweet, I just felt like I needed more.

My hand slid from her cheek and down over her breast, cupping it as I leaned more into the kiss, I traced my lips against her lower lip and soon her lips parted. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and felt her tongue brush against mine. She was responding to the kiss, but doing nothing more as in to touch me back.

We broke the kiss and I trailed kissed down her jaw and back to her neck. I found her collarbone and kissed the spot. I allowed my lips to part against the skin, slowly nipping at it as she let out a throaty gasp.

She angled her head so I had more access to that one spot when I dropped my hand from her breast, suddenly slipping under her shirt and working its way up her smooth stomach and over her bra covered breast.

I could sense her enjoying this which excited me even more. I never knew doing this to another person could be so… exhilarating.

She grunted and I smirked against her skin. Just as I was about to step into the next level, we were interrupted with banging against Lilly's door.

"Lilly, I'm hungry!" It was Tyler.

Lilly let out a disappointed sigh.

"C-coming." She choked out.

This was my cue to stop everything and try to think of an excuse of my actions. I dropped my hand from her shirt and stopped nipping at her collarbone. I blushed a deep red color when Lilly looked at me with innocent eyes. I probably screwed everything up by kissing and touching her.

Oh man, I'm so stupid.

She stared at me with her eyes wide, but said nothing to me. She just bit her lip and got up from my lap, crossing her arms over her chest and walking over to the door.

I watched her as she walked to the door, straightening herself out before opening the door. She found Tyler staring at her with his hands over his stomach.

"I'm hungry!" He whined and Lilly looked back at me one last time before following Tyler out of the room.

I sighed loudly and dropped back onto the bed.

"Why the hell did I do that?" I softly said and covered my eyes with my hands and groaned.

I closed my eyes, only to remember the kiss, the feel, just everything that happened a few minutes, even seconds ago.

Things will definitely be awkward between me and Lilly now.

_Damn_.


	2. Easily Forgiven

**Chapter 2**

**Easily Forgiven **

I lay in Lilly's bed still thinking about what had happened. It still didn't go through to me in what I did… or why I even decided on doing it.

I groaned.

Oh God.

I just kissed and fondled with Lilly.

What. The. Fuck.

I closed my eyes and gripped on the sheets under me. I pursed my lips, trying to forget about what happened, but it just happened! How do I forget about something that happened just a few seconds ago?

I cursed under my breath and opened my eyes, staring straight up at the ceiling.

I hope she's not mad at me.

I got up from my laying position and lifted my hands to my face, pressing my finger tips against my forehead.

"Ugh!" I groaned and got up from my bed. I dropped my hands to my sides.

I think I better go home now.

I got out of Lilly's room and went downstairs to the living room. There I found Tyler sitting on the couch, eating a bag of chips. I sighed and walked straight to the kitchen where Lilly was standing in front of the stove looking dazed and confused. I blame myself for making her look like that, I hate making her look like that. Argh!

I stood at the entrance of the kitchen and cleared my throat.

"I'm going to go now. I'll see you later. Bye." I quickly said and Lilly simply nodded, not looking back once.

I felt my chest slightly ache.

Damn, I did screw it up between us.

I turned on my heel and quickly got out of the room to the front door. As soon as I reached the front door, I bolted from there and ran off toward the direction of my house.

Why did I have to kiss her? Why did I have to touch her like that? She's going to think I'm a pervert, but most of all, why didn't she pull away? When she had the chance to, she didn't make any move at all. If she didn't want it then why is it that she didn't even tell me to stop? She looked like she wanted it as much as I wanted it, but that's just going too far.

"God Miley, can you get any more stupid?" I shouted at myself and shook my head as I continued to run.

I wonder how everything will go for the rest of the week. Ugh, I can imagine how she'll be if we ever do talk for the rest of the week.

----

I was at home, getting ready for school. For the rest of the weekend, I tried my hardest to ignore Lilly and it actually worked. I mean, well, it's not a good thing since she never even attempted to call me or come over to the house. It made me sad, I'll admit that, but it did give me more time to think about what happened.

I started to think about it more often and the way I thought about it made me think that I was a lesbian, but I couldn't be one since I like boys so it must mean I'm bisexual right?

I shook my head. I'm in my room, putting on a short denim skirt and a light pink shirt. I brushed my brown hair back and sighed.

Am I really bisexual? But then I don't even know if I like Lilly, I just kissed her and I liked it.

I scrunched my face.

Ew damn it. I need to control my hormones. Seriously. I think I'll just go by school and see how everything will _roll_. I sighed and set my brush aside. I looked at my dresser and found a picture of me and Lilly showing silly faces.

Lilly was hugging me from behind with her face scrunched and mouth opened with my usual shocked yet weird look.

I wonder if we'll ever do that again without feeling awkward.

I shook my head and tried to clear my mind. I looked at myself in the mirror and licked my lips, checking my make up, and straightened my outfit. I looked at my brown curls which hung off the side of my face.

I wish I had Lilly's soft blonde hair. So smooth and smells so good. She just so beautiful, natural blonde at that.

I smacked my forehead. Here I go thinking about Lilly. Damn it, I can't think about her like that, I have school for goodness sake. Then again, how can I help it? I made the biggest move on her and I don't even know if that was her first kiss! Oh gosh I'm such a bad person. I shook my head.

"She's just so cute though." I find myself saying out loud as I glimpsed at the photo of she and myself once again.

I let out a deep breath, feeling slightly frustrated and confused. There, I heard banging coming from my door.

"Miley hurry up we need to get to school!" Jackson's voice came from the opposite end of my room.

"I'm coming just relax!" I shouted at him and tore my gaze from the picture, heading for my bed for my book bag. I slipped it on and walked toward the door. As soon as I opened it, I found Jackson there with wide eyes.

"Let's go." I rolled my eyes and he nodded.

"Yeah, hey can I ask you a question?" He said and I glanced at him, showing that I was irritated.

"What?"

"What was that about?" He asked.

I furrowed my brows and he sighed.

"You're acting even meaner than usual. I know something is up, so what's wrong?" Jackson asked as he ran his hand through his blond hair.

"Nothing is wrong I'm just irritated, you know time of the month." I lied and got out of my room, walking past him.

I made it down the stairs when I hear Jackson sigh. What is up with him now? He acts like he cares and yet he doesn't. What a weirdo.

I shook my head. So many problems, such little time. Her locker is right next to mines, I wonder if she'll be there.

----

When I reached school, everything seemed to be normal. People said hi to me, I talked to a few people, but I haven't seen Oliver or Lilly anywhere. I smiled as I walked down the hall to my locker. I turned in the hall and spotted my locker, but there I saw Oliver and Lilly talking. I froze and found myself staring at Lilly's petite figure.

Lilly looked beautiful as ever with. She wore plaid khaki Capri shorts and a black tank top. Her natural blonde hair was up in a high pony tail exposing her creamy soft neck. Her eyes sparkled, but the only difference in her look was the smile on her face. The smile on her face wasn't there, but in replace was a worried look and confused look.

I blame myself for making her look that way. Damn it, it's my entire fault for making that horrendous move on her.

I chewed on my lower lip as I finally felt my legs move forward. I dropped my head and stared at the ground as I approached my locker.

"Hello." I muttered under my breath as I tried my best not to look at Lilly or Oliver.

"Hi Miley." Oliver's bright voice had said.

"Hi…" Lilly said with her tone matching my own.

My breath caught my throat. I couldn't bear it. I need to know how Lilly is feeling right now. I lifted my head and found Lilly staring straight at me.

"Lilly, I-" I started, but she shook her head, expressing a half smile.

"I have to go, I'll see you later Miles." She pursed her lips as she whipped around, turning the other way. Her hair flew past my face and there I could smell her sweet scent.

Strawberry.

I sighed and turned to my locker, turning the knob to open it. Now it was just me and Oliver, but I didn't know what to say to Oliver. He probably noticed the awkwardness between me and Lilly, gosh, I usually walk Lilly to her first period, oh man, so hard to bear it.

"What's up Miley?" Oliver casually asked as he leaned against Lilly's locker.

"Nothing much, why?" I casually asked while opening my side bag and pulling out a few textbooks.

I looked in side and found a tablet, Lilly's tablet, for our second period class. Ugh, now I actually have to face her and talk to her about it. The tablet, not it, as in what happened-why am I explaining this to myself? Oh gosh Miley, you're going crazy over here. I huffed.

I shook my head and glanced up at Oliver who stood there with a blank look on his face.

"So?" He asked and I tilted my head while furrowing my brows.

"What?" I said and held my textbooks in my arms.

"What's up with you and Lilly? Have another fall out again?" He said as he eyed the textbooks in my arms.

I shrugged. "Nothing happened between me and Lilly. I don't know why she's like this today." I lied and turned back to my locker to put my things inside. I slammed my locker shut and closed my bag as I started walking again. This time Oliver started to follow me.

"What do you want?" I asked while I stopped walking to look at him.

"I just want to know what happened, gosh. I remember the last time you and Lilly fought, I put handcuffs on you guys and you guys got even madder. If you want something good to co-" He started, but I held my finger up to shut him up.

"We didn't fight! Gosh Oliver, is that what you think Lilly and I do all the time? She's just feeling different okay? So am I, so drop it!" I hissed and spun around and walked hastily down the hallway feeling eyes burning into me as I passed a few people who saw my little blowout.

I shook my head. Damn it, why did I have to kiss her?

----

It came second period and I sat next to Lilly in that period. The class was dimly lit and I came early so Lilly wasn't here yet. I pulled my bag, which was still on my shoulder onto my lap and took out Lilly's notebook.

Today we were going to watch a movie and it was obvious that we were going to take notes so I put the notebook on my table, flipped it to a clear page, and took a pencil from my bag. I dropped my bag to the side and glanced at the door making sure she wasn't here yet. I looked back at the table and started to write a little message in her notebook.

_I'm sorry Lilly, forgive me? I didn't mean to do that to you or hurt you…_

I wrote in her notebook and closed it as I slid it to the desk next to me. I looked up from the desk and saw Lilly come into the class. She had her head down as she approached the seat next to me. She dropped her bag and I turned away from her, feeling as if she needed to be alone for a second.

The late bell for second period finally rang and the teacher was moving the TV to the front of the class.

I sighed. At least I had something to distract me right?

"Class, in your notebooks take the front page of notes, only. We're watching a movie about the galaxy." The teacher said as he turned on the TV, setting the DVD up.

I reached for my bag and took out my tablet, placing it on my table, and opened it to a clear page. I yawned and took my pencil from the table.

I wonder if Lilly read my note yet.

I looked from the corner of my eyes, but her tablet was still closed. I groaned in frustration and looked up at the TV as the movie started playing.

Halfway though the movie I already finished my notes. It didn't matter with what we had to write or anything, it's not like he's going to read any of the notes. I was tapping my pencil against my notebook as I watched the TV. I felt something on my tablet move and I looked down seeing writing on the left side of the notebook which looked like Lilly's handwriting.

I narrowed my eyes to the writing and read it.

_Why though?_

I bit my lip and glanced at her she had her eyes glued to the TV, but as soon as she realized I was looking at her, she quickly glanced at me and smiled.

I looked back down on the paper and scribbled next to her hand writing.

_I wanted to do an experiment. Stupid of me, I know, but I'm sorry if I hurt you. Do you hate me?_

I pushed my tablet closer to Lilly and she reached over to write under my writing.

_No, of course not, I was just shocked. I could never hate you Miley, I love you too much to hate you. I hate to ask, but does it mean you're gay or something?_

Lilly wrote and pulled her hand back. I read the words over and over again. It was kind of like it went through my head. I thought about it all weekend and nothing really went through me. I thought I was a lesbian, but I like guys. I might just be bi, but I don't know yet… so I'm just curious? Yeah, I think so.

Just as I was about to write down my answer, the bell rang for lunch and I closed my notebook. The lights turned on and I got up from my seat to put my things back in my bag.

"So?" Lilly questioned as she tapped my shoulder

I glanced at her and smiled

"I don't know. I'll let you ponder about it for now." I rolled my eyes. "I'm straight okay? I didn't know what came over me… but sorry." I replied softly as a few people passed by me.

"Sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you this weekend and morning and stuff. It just confused me… and it was awkward." Her cheeks were now burning a bright red color.

Oh how cute.

I bit my lip hard and shook my head.

Damn it Miley, when will you stop thinking these nasty thoughts about Lilly? I growled at myself.

"I understand. I hate to lose you as a friend over something like that." I smiled and put my bag on my shoulder.

"Yep, anyway, let's go eat, I'm hungry." Lilly smiled and I nodded.

"Okay, but lets get it through Oliver's thick head that we're not fighting? It's irritating."

Lilly giggled. "Okay, okay. Oliver was getting in my business earlier today too. He kinda realized I was down this morning and asked me, but I didn't answer him. When you came I was scared so I left. Sorry again about that." She frowned.

Aw! She's so sorry about this morning. I smiled and hooked my arm with hers, reassuring her that I'm okay with how she reacted.

"I'm okay… I just hope nothing changes between us just because I did those things to you."

"Don't worry Miley it was a one time thing." She said and there we started off out of the class room.

**A/N **Okay so I decided to make this a full story. I sort of got all these ideas for this fic… so I hope you'll like it :D J

I'm just letting you know this is sort of different for me. I've never written a full fic on this sort of particular ship and yeah… I'm seriously surprised at the response I have with this fic. :D Glad most of you like it and as you can see I'm just continuing this fic lol.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing haha.


	3. Life Is Complicated

**A/N **Dedication to Alpha, who is also ninja chick with the kickass hair lmao. She knows why ;)**  
**

**Chapter 3**

**Life Is Complicated**

I was in my room, lying on my bed with Lilly next to me. We were doing homework for history which was hard. I was slightly irritated with the fact that Mr. Allen doesn't teach us anything, he makes it more like class is a self learning thing, but it didn't matter. I had Lilly now and I'm pretty happy. She could make me happy when I was pissed off so she was all I needed to make my shitty day better.

"Miley, I hate homework." Lilly whined as she slung her small arm around my back and snuggled close to me.

I froze and shook my head. I could feel the warmth of her body pressing hard against my side, her breast against my shoulder, her stomach just against my hip; it made my body feel tingly on the inside.

I closed my eyes. It had only been a day since she forgave m y stupid act, but I couldn't help but think about this. It made me feel confused in why I was feeling like this for her. It made me irritated, actually. I wanted all these emotions to go away and yet I can't. I'm hopeless.

"Read and write. That's how you learn." I said and my voice squeaked. Oh gosh, I hate when that happens, that's always a sign that something was wrong with me.

"Miley, entertain me." Lilly said as she rested her head against my back.

I stiffened under her as her hand over my back started tracing circles against the small of my back.

She's teasing me, damn it.

"Entertain yourself; you seem to be doing a lot of entertaining now." I stared hard at my homework, trying to concentrate, but then Lilly hit a ticklish spot on my back.

I jerked on the bed, thrusting my face forward and into my books as I started to giggle. I was startled that she even did that.

I flipped on my back and took a hold of her hands so she stopped touching me and I sat up. She stared at me, curious in what I was going to do, so I pushed forward, so that I was above her on the bed and moved so I straddled her lap. She furrowed her brows and I groaned.

"That's not fair! I only tickled you!" She said and I dropped down so that my face was just inches away from hers

I stuck my tongue out at her and rolled my eyes. "This is what you get for tickling me."

I let go of her hands, moving them over to her sides, and poked them, there she jerked forward and started to laugh. I continued this until she started crying, begging me to stop. I found it oddly amusing to see her this way, but I did slow down a bit. My hands were working their way upward and toward her neck, making her bring her shoulders up over her neck trying to block my movements.

"Stop it!" She gasped out while thrusting her hands out, trying to catch my wrist.

I shook my head. I was having too much fun with this.

Lilly's face now red with her head thrashing everywhere. I could feel her legs beneath me moving with her hips slightly jerking to the sides. She just looked cute in this position, all jumpy and whatnot.

I finally stopped when Lilly was gasping for air. I collapsed on top of her with my arm over her stomach as I caught my own breath. I glanced at Lilly as she gazed at me. My leg was over her thighs and my head on her shoulder. She looked beautiful.

Her hair was slightly covering her eyes so I lifted my hand from her stomach to push her hair away. I cupped her cheek and had the strongest temptation to kiss her, but I restrained myself and just smiled.

"You bitch." She joked and put her hand over mine, ripping my hand from her cheek. She grinned and put her hand on my side, turning fully and moved close to me.

My heart whammed into my ribs at the closeness of Lilly. Does she not realize what we can do if we just move a little closer?

She raised her hand to my brown curls, taking a strand of hair and fingered it. "Are you intimidated?" She asked and I blushed.

"What?" I asked and moved my head back as far from her face as possible.

She dropped her hand and laughed. "I just wanted to see what you would do if I was close."

"So you rather freak me out than doing the real thing?" I questioned as I raised an eyebrow.

"Real thing?" She asked and I laughed.

I moved my hand to her thigh and started to stroke it. I moved closer to her until our faces were inches apart. I locked eyes with her and smirked. It was working.

I lightly squeezed her thigh as I moved my face even closer to her. I was breathing over her lips about now and nervous about kissing her. After her last reaction to me kissing her, it felt a little odd kissing her again.

I was about ready to dive into the kiss when Lilly thrust her hands to my face and pushed me back.

"Oh my gosh!" She said loudly and started to breathe heavily. She put her hands on her chest and started patting it to calm herself down.

I felt a little let down for not kissing her, but why would I even kiss her again? I'm not supposed to want to kiss her.

I laughed. "Oh boy, you should've seen your face!" I exclaimed, trying to make it like I was joking.

I was joking I think… but whatever, nothing more will ever happen between me and Lilly.

Lilly chuckled and shook her head. "You're unbelievable." She sighed and rolled on her stomach putting her hands under her chin.

"Thanks, I take it as a compliment." I laughed and closed my eyes as I leaned on my back.

I felt tired and tickling Lilly got me exhausted, I wouldn't mind falling asleep now.

I started to relax a bit and doze off when I felt Lilly tap on my shoulders.

"Miles."

"Yes Lilly." I whispered. I put my fingers on my stomach and listened to what Lilly had to say.

"I hear Jake's coming back… are you going to get with him again?" She whispered with curiosity in her voice.

I shrugged. "I don't know I don't exactly want to be in a relationship right now." I replied.

"Oh." She sighed.

It was quiet once again and I sighed.

I just remembered that I needed to take a shower, before dad got home, I had a fitting later on tonight and dad will be home any moment.

I sat up from the ground and glanced at Lilly. She had her eyes pressed against her arms with her breathing slow and steady. She probably fell asleep, she falls asleep pretty easily.

I moved on the bed and placed a small kiss on her head before getting up and going to the bathroom.

----

When I got out of the bathroom, I went straight to my bedroom expecting Lilly to be in there, but she wasn't. I was wrapped in my towel with my hair dripping with water and saw a note on my bed.

I walked to it and with it was an attached paper. I took the paper from my bed and read it to myself.

_I had to leave while you were in the shower, sorry for not saying bye, my parents wanted me to be home now. With this note is the survey you left over my house. If you can, please give me back the survey and fill it out before the month ends. Love you! _

_Your lover Lilly._

I giggled to the note and flipped the note back so that I could look at the survey. There were 5 simple questions which involved orientation and sexuality. I sighed and sat down on the bed to read the survey.

"One, 'What is your orientation?'" I sighed. "Straight."

I shook my head; but I haven't felt straight for the past few days. Stupid stupid feelings should leave me before I freak out.

I set the survey aside and lay back on my bed. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

This is so confusing, I feel like I'm lying to myself. What I felt with Lilly when I kissed her was something more and I hate the fact that I'm admitting to liking it. I should never ever enjoy something like that, it's just stupid!

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

I'm going insane with all this, I should just forget about it.

I closed my eyes and frowned.

Life _is _complicated.

----

I was in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection back at me.

It was almost as if I was talking to myself, which is somewhat sad. I'm confused in what I am… and I want to be truthful when I fill out Lilly's survey. It scared me. I know I'm straight, I love boys, but then what happened between me and Lilly was… different.

I closed my eyes and then felt something around my waist and pulling me close against it. I felt something press against my back with something soft, warm, and moist press against the nape of my neck.

My eyes shot open when I felt something crawling up my shirt from my stomach and there found a head of blond hair behind me.

"Lilly." I gasped and there, Lilly removed her lips from my neck and peered over my shoulder.

"Hi Miley." She quietly said and pulled me close against her chest with her chin on my shoulder. She grinned and with her hands still under my shirt, started to stroke my stomach.

"W-what a-are you d-doing?" I stammered with heat crawling up to my cheeks.

I didn't know what the hell was going on, but Lilly, what the hell?

"You're confused… and maybe… I can help you figure out what you're orientation is." She grinned and there, her hand from my stomach moved upper until her hands were over my breast.

I gasped and froze as her lips grazed my neck. She slowly nipped and licked my skin, sending chills down my spine. I've never been so intimate with someone before and Lilly… she's... Wow...

I softly moaned when her fingers traced my bra. I didn't know what was happening, but I didn't want her to stop.

I turned around from where she was holding me and there her hands moved to my back. She held me close and moved until our lips touched. Heat flooded through me as I kissed her back, moving toward the bed. There, I lay her on the bed and kissed her roughly with my hands traveling throughout her body.

It was her turn to moan now and I grinned with my lips against hers.

I wanted more; I needed more, oh gosh, what is wrong with me?

----

My eyes shot open with my heart pounding hard against my chest. My face, heated with cold sweat on my forehead. My towel I wore before I fell asleep was practically off my body from moving around during my little nap.

It was only a dream. What the hell?

I sat up from my bed, fixing my towel around me, and shook my head.

"Why did I dream of that?" I questioned myself and shivered.

Is this dream supposed to tell me something?

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I sighed loudly and frowned.

I don't know what the hell I'm going to do about this… kissing Lilly is the biggest mistake I have ever done.

What am I supposed to do now?

**A/N **Hope you liked this chapter :D

I'm on a trip right now and Omg lol I read this book called Kissing Kate and omg… it's so cute and.. Omg… reading that book made me want to update this fic. If you love reading Liley fics, then you'd definitely love the book. Lol.

Anyway, tell me how you felt about this chapter please :)


	4. Boyfriend or Not

**Chapter 4**

**Boyfriend or Not**

I was still shaken up about the dream I had with Lilly. I mean, why would I have such a sexual dream about Lilly? 

I mean with guys I wouldn't mind because that's natural, but with Lilly? She's my best friend and I shouldn't even have dreams like that about her! It's not normal!

I was in my room pacing in circles, waiting for Jackson to come home. I wasn't usually one to wait for Jackson, but I needed someone to take out my anger on right?

I sighed loudly and walked over to the French doors opening to my balcony, and I walked out, only to find it raining.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and stepped onto my balcony and went to the railing.

I let the rain hit me as I watched out for Jackson's car. No girl should be as confused as me. I'm having fantasies with Lilly… I'm freaking kissing her and she easily forgives me. I'm like the worst friend ever and yet Lilly's being so sweet by forgiving me. She forgives and forgets, but it makes me wonder if she's going through the shit I'm going through.

"I need a boyfriend, and fast." I sighed loudly and looked up to the stars.

I want to wish on a star, just pray that someone would walk into my life and make me forget about the things I did with Lilly. It's bad enough that I can't even face her without feeling so excited in side. I'm definitely losing it.

The rain grew harder, but I didn't care. Standing in the rain allowed me to think clearer. It was odd, but I didn't mind at all, it just felt nice.

"What does a girl do when she kisses another girl and likes it?" I asked myself as I gazed up into the sky, looking at the clouds.

A few drops of rain fell on my face and there, I dropped my head again, my now damp hair fell over my face as I looked down around the house.

"Does it make me gay?" I whispered as I narrowed my eyes.

I took a piece of my hair and started to twirl it in my hand, making it even more tangled than it was before. It confused me, is this how a person turns gay or something? By kissing another girl? It's just so weird! I shouldn't have done anything at all.

"Argh, I swear if I don't calm down soon, I'm going to scream." I told myself and shook my head.

"I'm such a stupid person, I'm talking to myself." I shrugged and put my head down, resting it against the railing.

I heard a door close and I ignored it, thinking it was my dad. I heard my own door open and let it go, waiting for whoever was there to talk. I didn't bother moving at all, all I wanted was for my issue to go away. It irritated me that I'm making such a big deal about it, but whatever, this is my life, I can do whatever I want with it, but if it affects my Hannah time, this is going to suck even more.

"Hello?" Whoever entered my room shouted and I called back.

"I'm out here." I replied and closed my eyes.

Put myself together, it might be dad.

I nodded and pushed myself up from the railing. I thrust my face up, with rain hitting it and I smiled.

"What are you doing in the rain?" the person said.

It sounded nothing like Jackson or dad, but it was a boy. It didn't even sound like Oliver, I wonder who it is.

I looked back and was about to tell the person to wait outside, but then saw him walking out on the balcony with me. I couldn't see clearly since I didn't get my glasses or contacts on, but as he drew closer, I could make out his figure and I could tell that it wasn't Oliver either.

"Who…" I started and gasped once I realized who it was.

"Hey Miley, I'm back."

I spun around and covered my mouth as I studied his figure. No way…

"Jake?" I said and shook my head.

He's back and in my room… I thought…

"Yep… and your dads here too. He's downstairs." He chuckled and walked up to me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"What? Why are you-" I started and stood still.

I don't want Jake to be here, he'll only make things complicated. After our last fallout, I didn't think I would want to bother Leslie until he was actually… himself. The boy I fell for… but now I don't know how to feel for him.

"Is something wrong?" He asked as he lifted his head to gaze directly into my eyes.

I blushed. "No it's just… Why are you here? I don't want to seem mean, but it's just different." I shrugged.

Jake chuckled. "I thought you would say that. Well, I'm back and I'm different. I promise you I changed." He removed his arms from me and went to grasp onto my arms. "I'm here for good and I wanted to see how we are." He lifted his hand to cup my cheek and stroked it.

I watched as his face softened up with the rain getting in his perfect hair. He looked like he didn't mind the rain, but he looked like he wanted to talk to me so badly. I didn't know what to do at this point.

"You want us to get back into a relationship again, don't you?" I asked him and he slowly nodded.

"Is that bad?" He asked.

I looked away, moving his hands from the spots they were, and decided to go back into my room. I went into my closet and took a towel at the top shelf as I wiped my skin. I felt Jake's hands graze my shoulders, which startled me a bit, but I didn't want to answer him just yet.

"So…?"

I glanced at him, his eyes pleaded me to say yes, but I couldn't say yes. My feelings for him, anyone at all, are messed up and I want to stay single.

Wow, I'm stupid, earlier I told myself that I needed a boyfriend, but now that I have a chance to have one, I don't want one. Will I ever make my mind up?

"Show me that you've changed and I'll tell you my decision." I told him and handed him my towel.

"I will." He took my towel from me and rubbed his arms. "I definitely will."

-----

The next day at school I was in a weird mood. I met up with Lilly in the front of the school campus; of course, she looked as cute as ever, wearing her usual skater clothes. I love that about her, she can dress up like a tomboy and yet she can be so cute.

Anyway, before I continue talking about Lilly again, we went to the lockers for a quick stop so that I could get my books for my first period class and when I got to my locker, I found this card taped to it. It was from Jake and it was a poem. When I got my locker open, I found a single rose that made me go 'Aw!' but it still made me feel weird that Jake still wants a piece of my heart.

I was in history now and Lilly and I were quietly talking about what happened during class. I told her that Jake came over last night and she thought it was cute. Her expression when she said it was cute as well. It's okay to think friends are cute in the straight way right?

"I find it cute how he wants your heart so bad. Miley, you have to date him now. How can you refuse going out with him?" She questioned and I shrugged.

"I don't know." _You're the reason why I refuse to go out with him now_ "I've been confused with my feelings lately and a boyfriend is the last thing I want." _Lies _"But I'm thinking about it." I smiled.

"Oh man, you better get him quick, you don't know what other girls might fawn over him, he is going to this school now, he's in my first class!" She exclaimed.

"Lilly, relax… I'll… come up with an answer by the end of the day okay?" I told her and she smiled as hugged me.

"Yes!" She exclaimed, making everyone look at her.

I giggled as she shyly dropped her head in embarrassment. She blushed hard and I smiled, moving closer to her as I tilted her head up. We stared at each other as I continued to giggle.

"You're so loud." I told her as I admired her cute embarrassed look.

Man I must be overusing the word cute, but I can't help it, Lilly's being cute and I hate to admit it.

I took a piece of her blonde hair and pulled at it to gain her attention. She gazed up straight into me with her blue eyes and I blushed.

Are we having a moment?

I shook my head from the thought and cleared my throat.

"Don't tell anyone about it okay?" I stammered and she nodded.

"Okay." She smiled

I let go of her hair and looked away, hoping that she didn't notice me blushing. There are so many wrong things if she realized I was blushing, ah, I need to relax.

-----

After school, Lilly came home with me, again, only to bother me with questions about Jake. I was getting irritated by them, but it didn't matter I guess. I just wished she would stop with all the questions.

We were hanging out in the living room, eating some popcorn. It kind of felt like the day I kissed Lilly, but this time we were in my house and Lilly's little brother wasn't here. It was nice actually and I kept on side eyeing Lilly just to see how she would react, but she still had her eyes glued to the TV.

I leaned back into the couch and put my right elbow on the couch as I cupped my cheek. It allowed me to have a better view of Lilly as she leaned forward, showing that she was interested into the program.

"That sucks." Lilly s aid she started to pout at the program.

I smiled as I eyed her glossy rosy lips. They looked so sweet and soft; it made me feel like reaching forward and kissing her. Her soft tendrils of blond hair falling to her face made me want to push them back behind her ear to reveal her beautiful face.

I bit my lip hard as I tore my eyes away from her, gazing to the TV

Ugh, you can't be doing this again, Miley, you have Jake to think about, not Lilly, think straight! Literally.

I took a handful of popcorn and shoved it in my mouth, trying to keep myself distracted. My eyes wandered back to Lilly as she giggled to the TV, putting her small hands at her stomach.

I sighed and looked down. What are these feelings I'm feeling? I can't help but notice Lilly and it disturbs me, this is not normal, for me especially since I have boys practically lined up to ask me out. I even have a freaking famous boy trying to ask me out and here I am fawning over Lilly and it's sick.

"Miley, are you okay?" Lilly's soft angelic voice said and I blushed as I sat up, putting my hands to my lap, as I looked at her.

"Uh-huh, why?"

She held a worried look on her face as she put the bowl of popcorn between us to the side and scooted closer to me. She pressed the back of her hand against my forehead, leaning close to me.

"Your face was all like confused looking and you kinda looked sick. You okay?" She asked again and removed her hand from my face, only to cup my cheek. She pushed my face to look into her direction and I sat still.

Her face was just inches away, I swear if I move or anything, I would just kiss her. Her face looked with curiosity as she moved on the couch, shifting on the couch so that she could see me better.

She felt from my cheek, moving her fingers lightly against my skin down to my neck. I shivered as I closed my eyes, allowing Lilly to touch me even more. I put my hands on my lap, and let out a shaky breath when I felt Lilly's fingers run through the front of my throat and up to my chin. It was a little weird that she was touching me like this, but I didn't mind it.

"You're, umm…" Lilly took a deep breath and pulled her hand away from my face. "…a little warm, but you're okay." She told me and I nodded with my eyes still closed.

I opened my eyes and the first thing I noticed was Lilly's closeness with her face slightly flushed. She sat back with her hands on her lap as she looked down. She looked confused, but I didn't mind. Her confusion suits her and she was pretty cute with her face looking all scrunched and in wonder. Ugh, there I go again with the word cute.

"Look, Lilly-" I started, but was interrupted with the ringing of my phone. I took my phone out and answered it without looking at the caller ID

"Hello?"

I kept my eyes on Lilly, but then I heard his voice at the other end of the phone.

"Miley? It's Jake."

I felt my face heat up and I sat back, trying to act casual, but then I couldn't.

"Oh hey Jake…" I said and I noticed Lilly's face lighting up as she moved even closer to me.

I put the phone to my left ear and Lilly moved her hands, one to my thigh, the other to my shoulder, as she leaned close, putting her head near mine.

Now I couldn't concentrate at all. With Lilly being so close, it made me feel self-conscious, but talking with Jake at the same time made me feel bad. Ah, what should I do?

"W-What do you want?" I stuttered as I closed my eyes.

I could feel Lilly's breath against my neck; her sweet fragrance of vanilla filled me as I took a deep breath. Concentrate Miley, you're on a phone call!

"Did you get my presents?" Jake causally asked and I nodded to myself.

"Mhmm and…" I said.

I felt Lilly squeeze my thigh, making me slightly jump with my eyes widening. Why did she do that? Ah, I can't think, Lilly stop teasing me. I bit my lip as I shook my head. Ah, dang it, I need to listen to Jake before I get lost.

"…so you want to?" Jake said and I side eyed Lilly for help.

"Huh?" I started and then heard Lilly.

"Say yes." She whispered with her warm breath hitting my neck.

I shivered and blushed, looking away from Lilly and nodded. It was weird; we were from far apart to just a little too close for comfort. Ah so many things can happen at this point, if only I wasn't talking to Jake… someone help me!

"Sure, yeah, I guess." I replied and then heard a big YES coming from the receiver.

"I'm glad, so I guess you're my girlfriend again huh? This is great; I'll see you tomorrow then." He said and hung up the phone.

I froze.

What did he mean by "I guess you're my girlfriend" mean?

"What?" I asked as I let my phone drop from my hand.

"Yes! You're going out with Jake again!" Lilly said as she threw her arms around me, pulling me down with her.

"What? I didn't mean… Lilly!" I shouted as I put my hands firmly on Lilly's shoulders and set her aside.

"What?" She said and let go of me. She set down and stared at me with her piercing blue eyes and I sighed.

"What did Jake say that made me say yes?" I asked and she laughed.

"He asked you out silly." She giggled and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"WHAT?"

**A/N **Sorry if this chapter was kind of crappy. I needed a guy in for something that's going to come up and since I didn't want to make a new character, Jake's in here. Sorry about that! I can guarantee you that this is a Liley though lol.


	5. So Wrong

**Chapter 5**

**So Wrong  
**

Yup, I have a boyfriend.

One I don't even consider dating. Again. And here I am, standing next to my locker, just waiting for Jake to come over.

How pathetic.

I'll admit, maybe It was just my curiosity that got to me, but I called Jake back last night and he told me to meet him here. I just wanted to know that if going out with him would really make me forget about the effect Lilly has on me. It's just odd.

If it wasn't for that stupid survey, I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. Gosh I'm such a mess and I hate it. If only there was an easier way to just make me forget about Lilly and the survey, I would take it in a heart beat. I don't like thinking of Lilly other than a friend, but I can't help it. It's scary.

I crossed my arms and looked to the ground.

Arg, I'm going crazy and everything seems just too frustrating. Damn it, where is help when I need it?

I felt a tap on my shoulder so I spun around and found Jake there with a puzzled look on his face.

"Jake." I forced a smile and he grinned.

"Hi Miley." he opened his arms as if he expected a hug and I stared at him for a while before I did it. It was an awkward hug, but I had to d this.

Why?

Because I'm a sad person who is desperate to find a boyfriend.

I suck.

I let go of him and shyly smiled. Gosh, this is so awkward, I never expected to date him and here I am. I need to stop talking to myself, this is so unlike me.

"Miley?" Jake said and I gazed up at him.

"Yes?" I smiled and he sighed.

"You're nervous! Don't need to be nervous I made it clear to everyone you're mine." He smiled cheekily and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't care for that." I sighed. I turned around and when I stared straight ahead, I saw the one person I was somewhat dreading to see after last nights… confusion.

"Lilly." I sighed and she smiled at me.

She and Oliver were together and standing across of us at Oliver's locker. She was giving me a knowing look when Oliver started to fumble with his lock. I didn't know what she was doing, but she was mouthing out something to me.

I shrugged and gave her a weird look and she looked slightly frustrated as she started to mouth out something to me.

"What?" I said softly and glanced at Jake and found him signing some autograph.

She lifted her hand up and pointed at her fingers.

"Huh?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

She turned to Oliver, took the sleeve of his shirt, and pulled him toward her. She spun him around so that he was facing me and took his hand. She lifted it in the air and laced her fingers with his. She pointed at me and then to Jake.

Oh. She wants me to hold his hand. Great!

I looked over to Jake and he was staring at his shoes. He looked slightly irritated and I dint know if I should really do it or not. I mean, I don't want to do it, but I want to do it. I don't know it's so confusing and I'm just… confused.

I shrugged it off and took his hand.

Whatever, I'll do whatever it takes to get me over this stupid phase or whatever I'm going through.

Jake looked up at me and smiled. Before I knew it, Jake kissed my cheek and hugged me.

"I'll drop you off at class." He quietly said and led me toward my class.

Great, now I'm giving him hints that I actually want to do something. Ugh, this is so frustrating.

----

I was with Lilly. Again. At my house, talking about Jake. Again.

I lie, flopped on my tummy, listening to Lilly complain to me about Jake, on my bed. She sat right in front of me with her legs crisscrossed with her fingers interlaced between her legs.

I don't know what to do. I look at her and I feel happy and confused, but when I look at Jake, he's just a friend. I don't like Jake like that! I never meant to say 'yes' to him and now I'm stuck in a big mistake that I just don't want to be in.

I sighed and decided to move up on the bed to lay my cheek against Lilly's soft thigh. I closed my head and listened to Lilly's soft voice in the air. She continued on talking about Jake, but still it wasn't what I wanted.

It was just so confusing. I just want to tell her to shut up about him and talk about what happened the day we kissed. I just can't get it out of my mind, I enjoyed it and it was almost as if I wanted her again and it's just so confusing.

"Miley, when will you ever learn?" Lilly asked and I shook my head.

"Lilly will you let it go and just forget about it? I'm not going to do anything with him!" I hissed and shifted on the bed so I lay on my side and faced the opposite side of Lilly.

"Well, do something at least. If you do intend to break up with him, do it a week later, not now." She sighed and I felt her touch my hair, more like stroke it.

I lay quiet for a few moments and then moved my head toward her inner thigh and pressed my lips against her leg. I could feel her stiffen under me and I pursed my lips.

"I'm going through a lot right now and I just need you to stop talking about him okay?" I asked with my eyes still closed.

I felt her body moved a little, as if she was uncomfortable, and she sat there in quiet. I guess I surprised her, but I felt like, if I did that then she would shut up and it worked.

Suddenly I felt a pat on my head. "Yeah, fine, I get it."

----

For the next few days, everything had been so confusing. I'd either hung out with Jake or with Lilly and it freaked me out. My feelings are all jumbled up and it sucks, I never wanted to be in a position like this, hell, I'm not even paid to do this and I'm stuck, being confused over my best friend and my boyfriend.

I sat in my room, tuning my guitar, getting ready to practice a song. It just seemed like music was my only get away, the only thing to keep me stable, thus me being a musician for a living.

I started playing with the song I could hear from the radio. It was soft and yet I still could hear it. Every time I listen to the song it makes me want to play with it.

I started to sing along with the song. "With every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love."

"Wow, I didn't know it was that serious." A voice behind me said and I stopped playing, letting the song play as I turned around. There, Lilly stood at the entrance of my room, just staring at me.

I blushed and set my guitar aside. "No, its not." I replied and got up from my bed.

Lilly stepped inside and shut the door. She rolled her eyes. "Come on, you hardly hang out with me, it's always with Jake now and its good!" She exclaimed and went to sit on my bed.

I sat next to her and took a deep breath. "Things are way complicated right now, sorry." I said and she gazed at me with big eyes.

"How complicated? I just saw Jake and he looked happy." Lilly chipped in as she adjusted herself on the bed so that she was lying down with her head on my lap.

I shrugged. "Jake might be happy, but I'm not." I replied and lay back down on the bed.

Lilly lifted her head and looked at me. "What? It's been a few days, what's so wrong with wanting to be with Jake?" She asked with curiosity in her voice.

"I don't have the feelings for him. I thought this would help me sort out my feelings but its not." I closed my eyes. "I just want to be alone now."

"And a few days ago you were practically begging for a boyfriend." Lilly shook her head and moved up so that her head lay on my stomach.

"Boyfriend or no boyfriend, it just feels wrong to be with a boy now." I admitted and moved up, leaning on my elbows for support.

Lilly stared at me, looking confused as ever and I felt guilty, incredibly guilty for having feelings for her when she'd be totally against everything I'm for. I'm just utterly confused; I wished I wasn't in a position like this. I want to tell Lilly about me being confused, but if I tell her then everything will screw up. I just don't want anything bad to happen in the end.

I felt Lilly move on the bed and then her pulling me into a hug. I looked down and patted her head.

"What's wrong?" I asked her and watched as she lifted her head and left her chin at the center of my chest.

She blinked a few times and softly smiled.

"Sorry, I just felt like hugging you." She shrugged and I put my arms around her to hold her tighter.

It felt nice and warm just holding her here, but I just wonder if this is wrong. The more I want to avoid these weird feelings I'm having for Lilly, the more she comes back to me and the feeling just doesn't want to go away.

This is wrong, too wrong… No, I'm wrong.

I shut my eyes in frustration and held onto Lilly tightly.

God, someone, please help me.

**A/N**: I am so sorry for the late update! Omg, I never thought I'd take so long to update this fic. I'm so sorry. Hope you guys like this update and I hope you guys forgive me. Also, happy new year!


	6. Secrets

**Chapter 6**

**Secrets**

"Please, please, please, please, please go on this date with him, for me!" Lilly exclaimed and I shrugged.

Lilly was trying to persuade me to go on a date with Jake, and she even said she and Oliver would be there, but I didn't want to go. It's not even her freaking problem and here she is, trying to get me to go out. How pathetic.

"Lilly, I told Jake I'll think about it and it's already Saturday. You think he'll want to go? He asked me yesterday and the date is tonight!" I exclaimed to Lilly as I walked out to the balcony of my room.

Lilly followed behind and walked up to the railing with me. She faced me as I faced out to look at the sky. Why can't I have one good day by my self instead with a girl trying to force me to do something I don't want to?

"Trust me Miley; he'll want you to go." Lilly grinned and put a hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged it off and turned away from her. "Only you would do this huh?"

I shook my head and felt Lilly move. I looked over my shoulder and saw Lilly leaning against her back to the railing.

"Well, I want you to be happy. I want you in a relationship and so far, it just seems like you're rejecting every offer Jake gives you. He really likes you and I'm still surprised you haven't kissed." Lilly chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "There are more things in a relationship than kissing honey." I smirked.

"Haha… ahh." Lilly shook her head. "What happened to you?" Lilly asked and I tilted my head as I stared at her.

"What?" I questioned. What does she mean by that?

"I mean, you used to be so up and perky, but lately it's like you're a whole different person. What's bothering you?" Lilly asked and turned her head in my direction.

I shrugged and dropped my gaze. It was all because of her and I can't admit it. I never thought my emotions were changing while this whole crap was going on.

"Nothing's bothering me, I'm fine." I said and started walking back into my room.

I hear Lilly's footsteps and I suddenly felt a sharp sting from my chest. I don't know why, but for some reason, it felt like all my feelings for Lilly would suddenly come out. I don't know, it's like, I'm accepting this and yet I'm not. I change my mind with everything and I'm in a relationship I don't want to be in just because I want to make these feelings go away.

"Come on Miley! You're my best friend, why can't you tell me?" Lilly asked.

Of course she knew something was wrong with me. I just don't know how she can let go me groping her and kissing her so easily! I'm in shit because of that whole incident and yet there she is, being happy, ignoring what I did to her a week ago.

I shook my head. "Fine I'll go." I replied.

"What? How is-"

"I'll go on the stupid date with Jake, only if you bring Oliver!" I told her.

At an instant, I felt Lilly hug me from behind and for some reason, it felt good, like when we were hugging two days ago on my bed. Why can't these feelings escape me? I only hope this date would help me figure out what's wrong with me.

----

I've decided that I'm desperate. Yep, totally desperate to find out what is wrong with me. Gosh, I don't even think anything is wrong with me, but then the thing is the feelings for Lilly and its stupid!

I shook my head and sighed.

Gosh, when will Jake do something that will make me… not me?

I groaned and shook my head.

Concentrate on the freaking movie Miley; Lilly, Oliver, or Jake might realize that I'm not even paying attention.

I sat in the movie theater on a double date with Jake, Oliver, and Lilly. It was boring; I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Here we are, watching a scary movie, but I can't even pay attention, let alone be scared and enjoy it because of the situation I'm in.

If I didn't let Lilly talk me into this double date in the first place, I wouldn't even be here, but I let her. Gosh, I let her do this to me and I'm in the most awkward position ever. I'm in between Lilly and Jake. Jake, being the smooth boy, put his arm around me and I can't help but feel stiff. I mean, I've done this before, but it's just weird now.

I side eyed Jake and he caught my eye and grinned. I rolled my eyes and sighed. This is stupid.

Suddenly I hear a loud shrill come from the screen and there, Lilly screamed aloud and took a hold of my hand. She tightly gripped it and moved to press her face into my shoulder.

I felt my heart beat fast and I side eyed her, just seeing if she was alright. She had one hand holding my hand with a death grip and her other hand covering her eyes as her head lay on my shoulder.

I could feel the palm of my hand sweat as Lilly's nails dug into my skin. It hurt, but I felt numb. I was nervous, too nervous. Lilly was close and this is public, oh gosh, I need help.

I bit my lip, I wonder if she could sense me getting nervous. I sighed and leaned more toward Jake. Jake shifted and leaned toward me. I felt his hot breath near my ear, right at the side of my neck. Oh boy, this is not what I was looking for.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked.

I shrugged and shook my head. "Nothing I'm fine." I assured him and he grinned.

"You look beautiful tonight." He said as he put his hand over mine. He rotated his thumb on the back of my hand as he slipped his fingers between mine.

I bit my lip and nodded. "You look good too." I moved back at my same position and eyed Lilly. She caught my eye this time and I looked over at my hand. Her eyes followed mine and at an instant, she pulled her hand away.

"Sorry!" She whispered out loud.

"Don't worry."

I smiled and stretched my fingers out before I put it on my lap. I looked back at the movie and sighed. I think its time for me to have a bathroom break.

I glanced at Jake and leaned toward him. "I'm going to use the bathroom."

With his eyes glued to the screen, he shifted in his seat to make room for me to leave the row and I got up from my seat. I felt a hand on my arm and looked down at Lilly. She gave me a questionable look and I mouthed out 'bathroom' before leaving my spot. I got out of the row and went up the aisle.

When I got out of the theater, I took a deep breath. It felt like there was so much tension in there, it was just weird. I never thought I would survive, but with, what, 35 minutes left of the movie, I don't think I can last long.

I shook my head and headed out toward the bathroom. When I got in, there was no one there so I went over to the sink and looked at myself. Here I am, dressed in a jean skirt, tank top, and jacket, as if I'm not on a big date, and bored. Very very bored.

I sighed and started fixing my brown curls. I just needed time to stall, I didn't want to go back to the movie or watch it. Hell, this movie we're watching, I don't even know the title of it, so much for a date.

"Gosh, will this ever end?" I told myself and sighed.

I dropped my hands to my sides and stared at my reflection. I'm pretty, kind of smart, and nice. Why am I having these 'feelings' for a girl when I have a totally hot boyfriend _and _people who like me? For a change I just want all of this to end this instant, especially my screwed up feelings for Lilly.

I hear the door of the bathroom swing open and I looked through the mirror to see who it was and it was, to my surprise, Lilly. Great, right when I wanted to be alone.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Lilly asked walked and stood behind me. She looked straight at me, through the mirror, and put her chin on my shoulder.

I shrugged. "I'm okay, I'm totally fine." I forced a smile and she kept her frown.

"Honestly Miley, tell me what's wrong. I haven't forgotten the issue we talked about earlier today, you still haven't told me." She said and put her hands on both of my arms. She softly moved them up until they reached my upper arms and squeezed them. She looked at me and tilted her head toward my neck, allowing me to feel her warm breath there.

Crap.

I shook her hands off and twisted so that I faced her. I put on my best smile and placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Gosh, will you let it go? I'm okay; I'm just… confused with Jake." I lied.

Lilly's eyes grew wide and she gasped. "Not even!" She said and I shrugged.

"It's nothing really, I just," I sighed. I'll never hear the end of this. It's a lie after another and I really do need to stop this. If only I didn't make such a stupid move then, I wouldn't be going through these stupid changes.

"Yes?" Lilly asked as she slipped close to me.

I blushed and shook my head, "Never mind, let's finish the movie before we decide to do anything stupid." I grinned and took a hold of her hand.

I walked toward the exit of the bathroom and glanced at Lilly as she held a confused look on her face.

If only it wasn't so hard to keep this a secret. A secret I'll have to keep to myself because no one would understand. Hell, I don't even understand myself so I don't know why I even think of it like this. Then again, this would probably be my biggest secret ever-the fact that I might be falling for Lilly Truscott.

**A/N: **Sorry if this was a little short. Longer chapter next one, hopefully. Anyway, hope you like this chapter :D


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